Zapper

Mr. Alien
Mr. Alien at Disneyland

PART III: Tuned Out in Toon Town

So your little green fistulas have been blasted to Toon Town, against your will. Not that you won't be making those pasty-skinned, pin-headed Earthling deformities perform various out-of-this-world (so to speak) anhydrous acts against their feeble underdeveloped wills when you succeed in taking over this pathetic planet, but it's not supposed to happen to you.
Tote that barge! Lift that bale!

So it's time to beef up those essential green gelatinous resins with a quick ten or twelve thousand reps on the ol' double-spheroid.

Not the green door, bub... Hey, what's this? This particular door seems much closer to your nearly perfect height than most others on this drnzorg-forsaken planet. Better check it out.
Kablooey! Ohhhhhhh noooooooo! It lands you right in a most uncomfortable position, about to be blasted again to some other Kingdom--but you leap away just at the last moment and land on the sidewalk under a--oh no--
Too safe They'd said that the streets of Earth just weren't safe any more. How wrong could they be?

Moaaaaannnnnnn...

Drag your corpuscle-like-subtances outa there and go check out the rest of this miserable place

ray gunZap!

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